You can’t really say that the penis does not get enough attention. There’s a fertility festival in Japan called Kanamara Matsuri that celebrates the appendage. In Iceland, the only museum in the world to contain a collection of phallic specimens belonging to all the various types of mammals found in a single country are at the Icelandic Phallogical Museum. In Korea, there’s Haeshindang Park—the Penis Park—where dozens of sculpted phalluses stand erect while beguiling tourist send postcards to friends saying “wish you were here.”
Maybe men don’t understand that when it comes to penises most women are like Goldilocks—they like one not too small, not too large, but just right. If you poll women and ask them to list the qualities they are looking for in their ideal guy, “a big dick” probably won’t even make the top 5. (Well, unless she’s a size queen). Qualities like kindness, confidence, intelligence and generosity matter so so much more in a lover. In the grand scheme of things, there are so many elements that make sex great, and size is just one piece of the puzzle.
This begs the question: since size isn’t that important to women, why are men so preoccupied with getting great length?
Just like women, men have fallen prey to unattainable standards of perfection. Just google the word “Male Enhancement”, and you will see all types of incredible vitamins, oils, pills, and potions. Penis enlargement is huge business and generates 5 billion in revenue each year. There is so much information and misinformation concerning penis enlargement, it’s no wonder some men are going under the knife and using questionable at home products to attain the perfect penis.
Here’s a look at some of the crazy things men do in the name of enhancement.
Let’s break down penis size. What is average? Just take a wild guess. According to a study by British urologists, “the average erect penis is about 5.1 to 6.2 inches long and 4.7 to 5.1 inches in circumference at mid-shaft.” Not bad considering the depth of a woman’s vagina when aroused is approximately 4.5 inches.
Regardless of how long the vagina is, the area that is thought to be important for most women’s sexual response is the outer one-third. So basically, anything past that point isn’t necessary for pleasure. However, that still does not stop nearly 45% of the male population from seeking some type of male enhancement.
Pumping it Up
When thinking of your penis, somewhere in the back of your mind, you can’t help play some variation of a sitcom skit where a woman emasculates a man by mocking his tiny penis. Like the Seinfeld episode when George Costanza yelps, “I was in the poooool!”
Penis pumps seem to be advertised a lot, especially in the back page of popular men’s magazine. Of course, all of them claiming to be the best in producing a huge member (that can satisfy your woman all night long). The fact, however, is that pumps are designed to increase circulation and get the blood flowing into the penis—temporarily. In some cases, they actually do work. The BathMate was recently featured on Liberator Unzipped “A Gym for Your Dick“.
This technique reminds me of some kind of salsa dance move. However, jelqing is actually a form of milking and requires a different kind of movement. According to jelqing advocates, the technique works by drawing blood through the penis towards the glans, which increases vascularity in the corpus cavernosa. This is done by wrapping the thumb and index finger around the penis while semi-erect and forcing blood into the glans by repeatedly drawing it away from the body. The theory behind jelqing is that it exercises muscles and tissue in the penis—and ultimately increases penis size.
At present, there is very little hard scientific evidence to back up this claim but the technique remains popular. Online, there are literally thousands of websites and videos devoted to jelqing. In some cases, jelqing is promoted as a technique to maximize length with a traction-based penis enlarger.
Resembling a medieval device, penis extenders are one of the newest additions to the penile enhancement family and are quickly gaining in popularity. They are based on the principle of constant traction (meaning to pull or drag) being applied over time as a result of lengthening of the penis. According to the instructions, the amount of pulling and dragging required (which is about twice daily) may interfere with your sex life. These new traction devices claim to promote cell division and multiplication in the penis. Some say, that it’s exactly like the same principle of working out. Yippee—a home gym device for your schlong!
Enlargement Pills and Creams
Anyone with an email account is aware that penis enhancement pills are heavily marketed. Perhaps you were tempted to click on one but then recoiled at the thought of the five years’ worth of pop-up ads you would encounter. Smart move on your part. Simply put, there is no scientific evidence to suggest that any of the online enlargement pills are in any way effective.
The best marketing seen so far is the Male Enhancement Cream, which guarantees a bigger cock in just 5 days. The instructions state you just rub it in and watch the growth begin. Much like it’s counterpart, the enlargement pills, there is no evidence that indicated that creams can make your member larger. In most cases, these creams may contain chemicals that can irritate the penis. If this concept was so sound, then no one would ever have to go to the gym ever again. They would simply cover their entire body with enlargement cream and watch the biceps grow.
Someone Spot Me
Hanging weights from the penis has been a practice in place for an estimated 2,000 years. Evidence of this practice continues in certain African tribes and is still being used in central Asias. It has even been suggested that the pharaohs of ancient Egypt practiced this method of penis enlargement. However, this doesn’t work because it’s been shown that even though the length of the penis may increase over a long period of time, its thickness is actually decreased.
Going Under the Knife
The words knife and penis should never be in the same sentence together. However, penis enlargement surgery (though extreme) has become one of the fastest growing solutions available to men. Germany boasts the highest rate of penile enhancement surgeries than all countries combined. Recognizing this growing niche, as it were, German surgeons have become global masters of manhood ops. As word gets out, men from all around the world with just-below-the-belt worries are flocking to the Fatherland to have their bratwursts boosted. With our thirst for German car engineering showing no let-up, it seems we want German craftsmanship and engineering in our pants, too.
Just A Little Prick
Things are looking up for guys in the market for a penis enlargement. It appears some researchers from Korea University have found a method that is actually effective—and you don’t even have to reply to some sketchy spam email to get it. The results of their research were recently published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, and it turns out they used the same thing some ladies use for their faces, Restylane.
However, the procedure is definitely not without its drawbacks. It requires the use of a “hefty” needle to inject the Restylane, using “a back-and-forth technique” into the deep soft tissue layers of the penis. Ouch! But it didn’t end there, “the product was then ‘homogenized with a roller.'” That sounds deeply unpleasant—it seems better than surgery and faster than using an extender.
So where does a lot of this penis envy originate? Porn of course! The main reason the industry hires the well-endowed is because of affect. Do you know how hard it is to CGI a penis in action? It’s all fantasy, so before seeking that perfect ten-inch penis, take out a ruler and see what it actually looks like at that length. Odds are, you are just fine, and your partner probably feels that way as well.