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Perhaps you can answer a two-part question. I’m a lesbian and recently started seeing a beautiful woman that I adore. Neither of us want to be penetrated by anything resembling a penis. All the toys that I’ve found all look like penises and really turn me off. Since If I don’t want anything like that inserted, does it mean we aren’t having sex? Also, what kind of things can we do to enhance our lovemaking that does not involve something fake?
Remember when we all had to sit through health class and listen to the gym-teacher drone on about the subject of sex. Over and over again, we were told that boy meets girl — girl kisses boy — boy sticks it in — and well you know the rest. Even back then, I knew something was amiss!
For this topic, I chose to Google “lesbian sex”. Why was I so surprised to find that there are close to 120 million sites dedicated to just lesbian sex alone? It must be because women are beautiful in all forms. Or it could be because a majority of the online content are gif’s showing women penetrating themselves with penis-like sex toys.
So, in my quest for the truth about lesbian sexcapades, I reached out to the source. This is what my long time, same-sex bestie had say about her lesbian sexual experiences — “The sexual portrayal of lesbian women is way too “pornish” and a prime example of male-driven fantasy. Lesbian sex is as unique and elusive as an orgasm — you can only understand it if you have experienced it yourself.”
Because sex, as a whole, is such a massive topic and there is tons of material to cover. The following are the highlights that my lovely lesbian tour-guide shared with me about sex and penetration.
The X to the O
One women that I met said that she really loves just making-out. In fact, her preference of lovemaking is to make out heavily! She poetically describes it as “something deep that happens between two women — something ethereal and beyond the range of written language or even abstract thought.” What really turns her on, is the that she can physically bond with her partner through the lips rather than the genitals.
Of course, kissing is a universal sign of affection and spans beyond either straight or gay sex. It’s something that can create a close bond. To enhance your level of seduction and foreplay, allow me to direct you to a recent posting on the Art of the Kiss. There is no right or wrong way to kiss, but learning different ways to express your love, through the art of the kiss, is fun and can certainly make your partner the X to your next O.
Oh Toy! Oh Toy!
It’s no secret that women enjoy the feeling of clitoral stimulation during intercourse. But when it comes to lesbian sex, there is a different viewpoint on what deserves to be inserted. Yes, skin-to-skin contact is a wonderful thing, but let’s not underestimate the power of batteries and silicone. For women who are into the shake, rattle, and roll, here some some killer vibes that can pack a real one-two punch without the visual dick distraction.
Tonight is your lucky night (wink wink) because a perfect solution for great pleasure comes in the shape of a ball. The Revel Body Sol Sonic Vibrator is just that, sonic! This incredible pleasure maker (or giver) is packed with a pulse action interchangeable vibrating tip that can be used on virtually any part of your body. Also, it’s discreet enough as a home decor appliance which will have your guest’s guessing.
The JimmyJane Form vibes are top-of-the-line wonderful, completely waterproof, and offer various ways of interacting with your partner. The Form 3 is shaped like a tongue, if that’s what you’re into. Also, if you are wanting to try some type of penetration, the Form 4 is able to be held in place with your legs while doing other things with your hands (including updating your facebook profile).
Truth be told, most sex toys can be used for any and all bodies in any and all couples or groupings. All you need is a little creativity, an open mind and some lube.
Teasing for a Pleasing
The gold standard of lesbian sex is oral sex. It’s luscious, tasty and a totally mind-altering experience when it’s good. And with a bit of tongue or finger insertion, it’s absolutely divine. So much so, that it almost feels a little like cheating.
To love oral sex, you’ve got to be committed to understanding that area of a woman. It’s not as simple as one thinks. As a lesbian, just because you have a clitoris doesn’t automatically make you good at oral sex, but it’s a big help. First off, you want to stimulate your lover’s clitoris, but also you want to enjoy her labia, her mound, her perineum (that space between the clitoris and the anus) and the taste of her. Oral sex involves really (and I mean really) using your tongue, lips and sometimes your fingers. As you explore your lover, be sensitive at first on how you discover the way she’s built.
Some women love your tongue to be rough and hard, while other women want it slow, gentle and easy. Some women hate penetration, while others crave it. If you don’t know, then use your mouth — to ask. It’s worth it to discover exactly what she likes because she’ll be putty in your hands when you can give her great oral sex. And be especially thankful if she speaks up to say do this or do that. She’s just made your work as her sex slave a lot easier!
In most respects, same-sex relationships are not much different from hetero relationships. Like everyone else, lesbian women fall in love and form committed relationships. Regardless of your sexuality, it’s important to be open and honest with your partner about your feelings, wants and desires. Beyond that, there are no predetermined rules to follow in any relationship regarding sex. Because sex is an expression of your love through action — demonstrating that love anyway you’re able — penetration or no penetration.