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Sex While Queer: BDSM

Advice & How Tos, Sex October 23, 2014

By Kalah, Liberator Love Artist

 

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This is not a shout out to Mr. Grey. This is an intro to bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism.

 

Don’t let those words scare you.

 

Mutual consent is key and sexual expression should never escalate to nor be mistaken for acts of violence or aggression.

 

The word sadism comes from our friend, the Marquis De Sade. He was known for his liberalism when it came to sex. His views were subversive. Sounds familiar, right?

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There’s a lot of overlap between the queer community and the bdsm community. We like to use labels to more easily identify ourselves. I’m a Tomboy and I’m also a submissive.

 

Much like the label I choose to identify myself in discussions on sexuality, the label I choose to define my relationship with BDSM is my own decision and it doesn’t box me in. I am an individual.

 

gladiatrix3Rev Jen, a sex enthusiast and writer of BDSM 101, responds with a question when people ask “Why not just have vanilla sex?” Well, why only eat for nutrition? Explore your hidden cravings and savor chocolate dipped pleasure.

 

gladiatrix2So don’t feel afraid of your desire if the Talea Spreader Bar calls to you. Follow your heart if the Obéir Spanking Bench is your thing.Slip on a sexy blindfold and try a little sensory deprivation. For the record, all Liberator leather is handmade by a leather artisan. That means your beautiful new Fillie Paddle will be crafted and enjoyed with care.

 

If I am going to make a blanket statement about sex in the queer community, it’s that no blanket statement can be made about sex in the queer community. Some like it hot, some like to stick to defined roles. Similarly, in the bdsm world you do what feels good. And with the proper safety precautions, you explore your interests.

 

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Got questions for Kalah? Email her at kalah@liberator.com

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Sex While Queer: Discovering Toys

Liberator Reviews, Love, Sex October 14, 2014

By Kalah, Liberator Love Artist

 

I’m going to make some assumptions. I’m assuming you or someone you know, or someone you heard about is a member of the LGBTQ community. My second assumption is that you are sexually active or plan to be (depending on that cutie at the bar).

 

I’m a simple woman. A lesbian who works in the sex industry.

So lets talk about sex.

 

As queer people, we learn about heterosexual sex starting with sex ed in middle school and keep learning about it in our culture. Gay guru Dan Savage said once that coming out of the closet is like a second puberty for many people. That made sense to me because for a while it felt like I was learning how to date all over again. If you’re like me you might have had some questions about sex, maybe it was your first time or you may have been wondering about why your sex doesn’t look like the porn you’re watching.

 

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If you ever find yourself thinking, “I’d love to be a better lover,” then congratulations, you are good lover who’s probably in need of better tools.

 

But if you’re a queer person, there are obstacles. Products are marketed to heterosexual couples. No one taught you how to be queer. In fact, I was told that it was more likely that I just wouldn’t enjoy sex than the truth which is that I am gay.

 

Don’t worry, the love artists at Liberator have got your back. Check out Liberator.com/same-sex. Yes, there’s an entire section dedicated to same sex lovers. For my ladies, I recommend a clitoral stimulation gel. Pair that with the Black Label Hipster if bondage is your thing. For the boys there’s a Fleshlight Two Play that is a must.

 

Queer couples can absolutely benefit from the right positioning  during sex. Just think about putting all of your lover’s parts in the perfect place for shared pleasure. The possibilities are mouth-watering.

 

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Have you ever wanted to buy a sex toy that would benefit the Human Rights campaign, America’s largest civil rights organization working to achieve lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender equality? Because you can do that too, here. You can combine pleasure and philanthropy and get a great way to position your boo for oral, too.

 

After lots of in-depth research involving first-hand experience, you know, for science, I can tell you that sex isn’t a science, it’s an art. Each artist has their own signature style, their own interpretation. Art isn’t about precision, artists are known for their passion and their attention to detail. The queer community is expressive and we are here to stay.

 

Express your love.

 

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Got questions for Kalah? Email her at kalah@liberator.com

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The Same Sex Couple’s Guide to the Wedge/Ramp Combo

Advice & How Tos, Liberator Reviews, Positions, Sex June 26, 2014

Our Wedge/Ramp Combo has legions of fans—gay and straight alike.

Teaming up these two expertly-crafted Shapes will revolutionize your love life and allow you to experience a variety of new positions while inspiring you to find your own. The ergonomic design and flexible versatility will give you greater stamina for longer sessions that will yield incredibly intense orgasms. The microfiber cover ensures that the Shapes will cling together firmly, allowing you the freedom to experiment without worrying about the Shapes slipping off the bed.

The Combo sets a stage for your lovemaking, providing lift for access and deeper connection, as well as support from soft or memory foam beds. Crafted to enhance missionary and from-behind positions, it is also ideal for sixty-nine and oral.

The ergonomic angles put you and your partner’s bodies in comfortable and stable positions to lose yourself in passion and sensation without having to worry about putting pressure on your knees, wrists, or back. Move the Wedge along the top of the Ramp to find the ultimate support you need anywhere on your body. The Wedge and Ramp can also be used separately to offer even more variety and unlimited opportunities for creativity.

 Let’s take a look at some positions that bring the sizzle to same-sex couples.

 

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The Chariot

 

 

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The You-Know-the-Drill

combogay3The London Bridge

 

combogay4The Stand & Deliver

 

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The Sun Salute

 

 

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The Embracing Lotus

 

Looking for something a little kinkier? Try the Black Label Wedge/Ramp Combo with the ability to attach soft microfiber cuffs. For a harder bondage thrill, try the leather cuffs from our Liberator LeatherWorks collection.

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silhouette of person holding rainbow flag

Out and About in History: A Look at Homosexuality Throughout the Ages

Love, Sex June 6, 2014

Wherever you fall on the sexual orientation spectrum, most of us know that June is a time of celebration for gays, lesbians, and everyone in between—and for good reason. Even before President Clinton made it official on June 2, 2000, Pride Month has become internationally acknowledged over the years as the GLBT community has taken some amazing strides towards equality

 

Unfortunately, there’s still a long way to go, and mainstream acceptance of non-straight folks is still insanely recent. The American Psychiatric Association counted it as a mental disorder until the seventies, and it wasn’t until the nineties that some governments started to decide being gay wasn’t really a crime after all—yeah, the nineties. Sodomy laws in the US weren’t even tossed out until 2003. I’ll just let that sink in for a moment.

 

Progress is definitely happening, but considering how long homosexuality has existed in society, you’d think, by now, the whole two-dudes-kissing thing would cause a little less drama. Plenty of factors have tried to suppress it—like government, religion, and times when making lots of babies was really important—but the truth is, it’s been around forever, and it’s not going anywhere.

 

In the wake of the last few decades, it’s easy to forget that homosexuality is nothing new—it’s just been really well hidden, until more and more brave people took it upon themselves to stand up and say, “Screw that.” In fact, evidence goes back as far as the mesolithic and neolithic eras, where homosexual depictions in rock art and figurines gave us a pretty good idea what our ancestors were up to. Apparently, gay cavemen were a thing.

 

The ancient Greeks and Romans were no strangers to same-sex love, either. Ever wonder where the word lesbian came from? That would be the island of Lesbos, the home of famous bisexual poet Sappho. Certain types of gay relationships were a pretty normal part of the Greek and Roman cultures for a good while, mostly between young men and their older mentors. Jump ahead a few centuries and you get Shakespeare, who was eventually outed by his sonnets (and Gandalf). Oscar Wilde wasn’t as clandestine with his sexuality, and we know how that turned out.

 

Every part of history has had its share of people who didn’t give a shit about convention, and humans don’t even have the monopoly on it. According to Yale, over 450 animal species are known to exhibit homosexual traits, and that’s only the ones we know about. A lot of people have heard about the penguins, but scientists have also observed the behavior in tons of others including lizards, birds, and even dragonflies.

 

While homosexuality may be old news, the fight for gay rights is still pretty fresh. The Stonewall Riots in June of 1969 really kicked things off, when police raided an underground gay bar in New York City called the Stonewall Inn. The riots lasted for days, becoming the catalyst for the equality movement we’re still fighting for today. The first Pride Parade happened just one year later, and today they’re held every year in hundreds of cities across the world.

 

Gay or straight, we’ve got more sexual freedom now than any generation ever had before us. This month is a great time to honor that no matter what our preferences, and to show our support for those who still have a lot to fight for. Stay strong and celebrate who you are!

 

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