Many of us have a preconceived notion about how we should feel and act as parents. This is especially true for women! The key here is reaffirming your wife’s right to sexual expression and just being with her during the process. What I mean by this is do not pressure her. Discuss how you feel openly, but never force anything she isn’t feeling ready for.
If you’d like to reopen the possibility of playing with your wife’s backdoor, you must ensure that the experience is pleasurable for her. Many women feel pressured to have anal sex and oftentimes their first experience was not pleasurable. The best time to bring up the topic is when you aren’t having sex.
It’s possible that anal penetration may never be in the cards for you. But that does not mean you can’t both enjoy anal play. Before giving up, however; may I suggest a few things that can help you both progress toward having actual penetrative anal sex. Here’s a road map that may help lead to you both to penetration.
Lubrication is your best friend for anal play because unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating. The right lubricant can make anal play feel amazing. With so many different varieties of lube to choose from, it can be a bit overwhelming.