There’s no denying it, people like to watch—porn that is! But for a lot of couples, porn has become the ubiquitous “other lover.” In some states, pornography is being labeled a public health crisis and is often portrayed as the wicked, evil temptress luring unsuspecting men and women into a pit of sinful obsession and objectification.

One thing’s for certain, the tsunami of porn pouring through our streaming devices is not going anywhere. But does that mean we are slipping back into a neanderthal state, only looking for the biggest tits or the money shot? Is porn, outside of those with genuine addictions, really causing the break down of our relationships? Of course not!

Watching Porn TogetherAccording to a recent study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, it’s not actual pornography that is harming our interactions, it’s keeping the porn-watching a secret that’s causing the damage. That is why some experts suggest that partners who come clean about watching porn to their significant other have happier and better sexual relationships. Hmmm, go figure—porn can actually be good for your relationship.

So why do some people, women, in particular, seem to have a problem with porn? I think it comes from fear—they are afraid that their partner prefers the porn star over them. The threat of not living up to his fantasies makes some women feel inadequate, and popular culture doesn’t help much with its portrayal of men as idiots drooling after every piece of tail. Trust is key, and the best way to building trust is being open about what you and your partner find sexy in porn. Maybe its an actress, or an act, or even a fantasy scene where the buff stableboy is shoveling hay while a corseted damsel threatens him with punishment if he doesn’t do her bidding (okay, that one may be just mine).

Open the dialog and see what you both like. Watching others have sex does not be anything other than a fun, and sometimes funny, experience.

So that everyone ‘comes’ out on top, here are some ways to watching porn together.

Just Come Out With It!

It’s best not to go snooping is you suspect your partner is ‘sneaking’ porn. I can bet you won’t like what you find amongst their secret stash hidden in the crevice of a hallway closet. Instead, use your imagination and think of ways you might mention the subject. For example, rent a mainstream movie that is on the edge of being x-rated. You can use the sex scenes as a conversation starter. Personally, I love the movie 9 1/2 Weeks. This timeless cinema masterpiece has a plethora of steamy sex scenes and is a great way for opening a conversation on things you find interesting. Another idea is bringing up the topic of couples porn while cuddling or sharing fantasies.

What to Watch

Watching Porn TogetherMen and women are wired differently—especially in the arousal department. Men tend to get turned on by sexual imagery, like big, bouncing tits and voluptuous asses. On the flip-side, women respond better to verbal or audible stimuli, like hearing someone moan from pleasure. Keep these gender differences in mind when picking movies. You can strike the right balance between raunch and romance by selecting a few videos from the Erika Lust collection. Her scintillating X-Confessions series is based on other people’s fantasies and may be something right up your alley. For gentlemen who enjoy the visuals of the female form, Andrew Blake offers a bevy of European beauties in compromising situations, although a bit dated.

A Moderate Selection

Like our mommas used say, “everything in moderation.” To prevent porn overload, try having a game plan before setting out on the hunt, especially if you are watching XXX together online. There is nothing worse than sitting through endless unsexy scenes looking for just the right scene. Knowing which content does or does not turn-on your partner can avoid making them feel like they are being led down the garden path of perversion. You can even take the evening a step further and set the scene with a special bottle of wine and a Liberator Fascinator Throw. Your partner will associate this gesture as something special—a secret night in for sexual expression and the all-important connection time. Play your cards right, and they will likely make this part of the regularly scheduled program.

Watching Porn TogetherPick a Category

If you can think it, more than likely someone has made a porn version of it. Porn has come a long way from VHS. In just the past few years, there has been a wave of new titles and genres offering a host of extracurricular sex activities. There are so many flavors from hot wife fantasies to swinger scenarios to cuckolding and now, even fish porn. Really, nothing is off limits. To break the proverbial porn mold, try a movie that will make the both of you feel comfortable or something that encompasses your sexual fantasies. For instance, porn parodies are a great introduction to watching porn together. Not only do parodies help lighten the mood by using comedic relief, they also help break the sexual tension if things get too serious.

Play Along

Porn is meant to inspire desires and is a great way to feel sexually charged. There is absolutely no protocol of etiquette when it comes watching porn together. The most important part is making sure that each of you is comfortable. Whatever else you decide to put in the mix is entirely your decision. One creative way of watching porn together, especially if the movie has a good plot, is start from the beginning while cuddling close together. This allows the sexual tension to build and can make things feel more passionate. Or you can fast-track the pace and mimic the highly-skilled moves from the porn actors themselves. Either way, watching porn together should be about creating a more defined intimate connection.

Create Your Own

Watching Porn Together

The internet is full of porn, but much like cable television, there’s a lot of content but nothing worth watching. If you can’t find something interesting to motivate your sex drive, try creating your own porn. Of course, it does not have a major production with lights and makeup artists (unless you want to). A simple hand-held device zoned in while your partner performs oral is enough to make everyone worthy of some must-see TV.

Just Listen

Remember the days when “scrambled porn” would just show up at the top end of your cable channels. (If you don’t, that means you’re far too young!) Although you could barely see the couples copulating, you could still hear them getting off loud and clear. For couples that don’t really appreciate porn’s visual appeal, you can still get a rise just from listening. While researching this topic, I came across audible-only porn. Interesting couples record their sex sessions and send an anonymous file for others to enjoy. Go ahead, and take a listen here. Who knows, you may be inspired to create your own.

The debate over whether porn is good or evil will always keep people divided. In my opinion, a little visual inspiration never hurts and can actually keep sexual interests fresh. For many couples, sex is the glue that keeps relationships together. So dive right in and let go of your inhibitions. Your sex life will thank you.

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