It’s official—dick pics are the new calling card for gentlemen. Whatever happened to the good old days, when a gentleman caller would show up at your doorstep and you’d spend hours guessing the size and girth of the monster in his pants. Jane Austin’s book would have been a lot saucier of a read if Mr. Darcy wooed Elizabeth by sending her an engraving of his dick positioned next to a riding crop for scale.

dick picsIt leaves us missing a bit of the mystery in dating, but smartphones, dating apps, and Snapchat have changed the rules of civility. Men can now send unsolicited dick pics by simply whipping out their smartphones with one hand and positioning their dick with the other. Modern technology is making men snap happy and their dick pics are now just an inevitable part of the dating landscape.

Ask any woman and they themselves, or someone they know, has received unsolicited dick pics. The results vary. Some women may take the guy up on his offer and appreciate seeing the goods before making a purchase. Many more women, however; are more likely to send the dick pics to their girlfriends for a particularly poignant round of jokes at his expense.

So if sending dick pics can end with such uncertain rewards, why do men send them? To understand the growing phenomenon, we looked directly at the one-eyed monster and listened to what he had to say.

Here are the top reasons men gave for sending unsolicited dick pics.

No Strings Attached

“When I send dick pics to girls it’s because I want sex. Many will be horrified and insult me, ignore it, but some will message back and say yup, where and when. I don’t want a relationship and sure as hell don’t want to go through the crap of being nice and polite and false to these poor women, who I would essentially be stringing along for the sole basis that I can have sex with them. Go ahead, insult me, call me a creep – but at least I’m being honest with my intentions and not stringing you along for weeks fully knowing our relationship is non-existent.”
— KingBoo 

Mr. Congeniality

“My penis is very photogenic. The camera loves him!”
— IPEEINTHESHOWER

Attention Seeking

“A bit of exhibitionism. I like seeing the girls reaction. Not to complete strangers of course, but the girlI was flirting with and were showing interest. It actually worked most of the time to get positive reactions.”
— IAMNOTTHATGUY

Sexual Ice Breaker

“I’ll echo a few people here and say that sometimes it’s just a “hey, we’ve been talking for a while, sometimes openly about sexual stuff, but our conversation died because we’re busy during the day. I’m going to see if I can excite things quickly.” It’s a nice feeling to feel like your wanted sexually when you’re too busy to really go out and date or those you’re with don’t have the time for anything sexual.”
— ThrownMolotov

Because It’s Kinky

“I do it because I was raised very conservatively and thought someone else seeing your genitalia is a HUGE taboo.  So, I got off on the taboo. I had never seen any other pictures of naked bodies and thought mine must be one of the few rare ones tucked away. I later realized that seeing someone else naked or being seen naked isn’t as big of a deal as I had always thought it was. And once the sense of taboo was gone, it stopped being appealing.”
— CollegeThrow

Self-Satisfaction Dick Pics

“Orgasm. The only time I ever sent a dick pic like that was when I was masturbating, and the thought of the person I sent it to look at the photo sent me over the edge.”
— DoodlingJellyFish

Fishing Lure

“I’ve only sent 3 in my life. All of them to the women I eventually married. We lived in different states at the time and she was curious what I had and wanted to see. I had nothing to lose so I went for it. It was a dick. I’m not a monster but neither am I tiny. She played it up because we were still newly attracted to each other but it was and is average.”
— WiseGUY

Flashy Character

“It has zero to do with titillating the girl. Well, maybe not zero, but guys know that most girls won’t bang them from a dick pic. Some actually will and that’s maybe a small part of the fun. But the whole idea is that you’re exposing yourself to a woman. It’s exciting for me to be sending you this. Girls who go “wise up guys, we don’t like dick pics!” They don’t get it. Honey, it’s not about you. In fact, saying you hate them and are scandalized by them is even more of a turn-on than if you said you liked them.”
— Toilet Bowler

Fantasy Maker

“I like to imagine that upon seeing it, the healthy females are immediately turned on, and say so. Their mouth waters, saliva coating their undulating jowls and raining down on their clothes. They text me, asking for more, but a Sir can’t just give in and fulfill a girl’s EVERY whim right away, that leads to spoiling. She begs me more, growing more and more hysterical, and I calmly have to explain to her the lessons of moderation. She sobs a bit, nodding, before begging through a break in tears, if we can at least have sex. I agree, jokingly rolling my eyes, and she drives over, bringing Taco Bell and beer, as well, for me. This is my life, every day.”
— AnaGramLord

Just Can’t Help It

“Think about the days before texting and social networks with men hooting and catcalling women on the streets, it’s the same thing, yes? And of course, even that still happens today. Do these guys honestly think the women are going to respond to them? Has anyone started a deep relationship with someone with this? “How did you meet?” “Oh, I was walking by the construction site he was working at and he started calling to me saying “Hey baby, love the way you wear those jeans!” and it was love!”. I don’t think men actually think they’re going to get anything from it, yet they do it anyway. Honestly, is it genetic? Is it an evolutionary tract from millions of years ago when we were still on all fours?”
— Goofball Jones

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