Menopause is a life changing experience. Take it from me. I am currently in the midst of what my mother calls the “great liberation.” Not only does “The Change” alter your body, it has the potential to create challenges in the bedroom. Between the hot flashes, temperamental mood swings, reduction in libido, and the unbelievable amount of chin whiskers that suddenly appear, most women are turned off by having sex during menopause.
What makes the whole thing hard to swallow is there’s virtually no advice on having sex during menopause. Sure, there are some websites dedicated to perimenopause and after the change, but not anything about during. It’s almost as if menopausal women are not sexually viable. That is simply not good enough, and I felt compelled to share my experience.
This is how I took sex during menopause into my own hands and learned that embracing the change leads a better sex life and boosted orgasm potential.
Out of the Closet
I nearly peed myself while watching the season 3 trailer of Netflix’s Grace & Frankie. The two main characters (Jane Fonda and Lilly Tomlin) are searching for someone to finance their new line of sex toys for post-menopausal women. Although a fictional account, there is some truth in having “age appropriate” sex toys. Finally! People are talking about sex toys for *ahem* older women.
A low libido is natural during menopause. However, I won’t let that put a damper on my day. I love the Rose Rouge Heated Vibe by L’Amourose. This vibe is equipped with a series of vibrational patterns that can be customized with a touch of a button. Its shape is unlike the traditional vibe and has a handle that is easy to grip with swollen, achy hands. But what makes the Rosa Rouge remarkably special is the Thermal Heating Unit. Hot flashes aside, I love how the heat feel soothing going in and out. It’s a nice treat after a long day at work and a great toy for enhancing your libido.
Lubricants are going to be your best friend for sex during menopause. As estrogen levels drop, the vagina can become thinner and dryer, which causes painful intercourse. I keep a healthy supply of Aloe Cadabra on hand. This aloe-enriched lube does a great job in keeping me wet during sex and instantly absorbs when the fun in done. I like the fact that Aloe Cadabra does not contain any harsh or drying chemicals and keep my vagina happy. The company has a wide selection of flavors too. My husband prefers the Peppermint while performing oral.
The night sweats combined with anxious thoughts prevents me from getting a good night’s sleep. Fortunately, I found that having an intense orgasm before heading off to bed helps unwind my body and mind. Another issue I’ve been facing is arousal. The decrease in libido takes me a while to get warmed up. I even have moments when an orgasm seems unlikely. The Womanizer W500 remedies this problem by offering quick stimulation and climax. I prefer using this sex toy when my energy is low because it does not require friction or a lot of movement. I simply place the suction nozzle on my clit and have an orgasm within 30 seconds.
Excessive weight gain is an issue for a lot of women going through menopause. The extra pounds can make some women feel less than sexy. Even though I’ve added some extra padding to my ass, it still does not stop me from having sex during menopause. Instead of going to the gym and working out on the elliptical machine, I lay my big ass on the Wedge and let my husband do all the work. The good news is I’m still burning calories without breaking into a hot sweat.
Back in the Saddle
Sex during menopause certainly has its roadblocks. But does not have to ruin intimacy between you and your partner. Rather than fighting the change, I’m embracing it. I found that foreplay is just as good as having sex. A great session of nipple stimulation is not only relaxing but it actually helps boost my orgasm potential. In fact, any form of erogenous zone stimulation or massage can help the arousal process and combat the dreaded mood swings.
The Greatest Sex on Earth
Menopause does not mean locking up the goodie basket and throwing away the key. Nor does it take away our sexual viability. For me, menopause is exactly how my mother describes it: a great liberation. I’m not bothered by periods. I don’t have kids ruining the moment. I can have sex in any room of my house. When it all comes down to it—older babes know exactly what they want and no longer have to place sexuality on the back burner. Think Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate. She had it going on and so can you—the greatest sex on earth!12