Ladies—and the ones who love them—we need to talk. There’s a big problem affecting a lot women these days. Some of us may feel a little ashamed about bringing it up, but it’s time to let the proverbial cat out of the bag. It’s time to talk about women’s libidos—or lack thereof.

A woman’s sex drive, just like her, can be a complete mystery. We are more prone to experiencing extreme ebbs and flows of sexual desire. One day you’re so horny, you can’t stand it, and the next day—whoosh! It’s out to lunch for a month, or two, or three.

The reason for this can be hormonal or because of mindset—women are a complicated mix of emotions and thoughts at any given point. Gentlemen, please do not take your partner’s disinterest personally. This really has nothing to do with your level of attractiveness, or even your performance. It is because of this intricacy which makes us so irresistible! Plus, it is a great time to get to know your partner a little better by communicating with her about it.

Contrary to popular belief, a majority of women—both young and mature—who experience a depleted sex drive are actually not okay with it. Having low to less-than-zero sexual desire can really effect a her outlook on herself and her relationships.

For any women who is going through a similar scenario, it’s up to you to do something about it. There’s no shame in taking charge of your sex life. Here are a few natural techniques that can help fuel your desire and boost your sex drive.

anigif_enhanced-23509-1398732676-9Body in Motion

Believe it or not, exercise can be a huge confidence booster. When you feel good about being in your own skin, anything is possible. But if the thought of dragging your ass to the gym seems unappealing, that’s okay, you don’t really have to go that route. Instead, do something that makes your tail wag. It can be a mock striptease dance in front of the mirror to your favorite sexy song or walking with supportive friends. Evidence suggests being in shape really helps you to get more tuned into your sexuality. And a little chit-chat with friends doesn’t hurt either!

tumblr_mwlijrloii1qbuxk3o1_500Dirty your Perspective

When we’re not in the mood, sex can seem like a chore. It will take a change of perspective to shine a light on what you are feeling, and porn is a great way to remind yourself that: Hey! Sex is fun! Porn is not for everyone—or at least watching it. So if you’re adverse to watching couples getting it on, why not read about it instead. Since most women become aroused with their brain first, reading erotic material could be the answer to igniting your libido. The secret is to find what works for you. The internet is a great resource for all kinds of filthy material and is a perfect tool to spike the mood.

giphyWatch your Mouth

We all know certain foods are bad, but can’t help ourselves anyway. I’m not saying to go on a strict diet and deprive yourself of pleasure, but adding sustenance such as eggs, oysters, chocolate, wine, and fruits usually can increase the sex drives of a lot of women. Taste is just one sense you should be indulging in because by being in tune with your body, you become more aware of when the mood strikes. So share something delicious with your partner and savor the sensations.

Simmer Down Now

rs_494x270-150318125533-juliaroberts2Our daily lives are filled with activities; it’s no wonder why everyone is so freaking stressed out. When you are worried and tired, the first thing to go out the door is your sex life. The solution is to find ways to de-stress. Take a break, meditate, go get a massage, and try not to worry so much. But moreover, it is about accepting the flow of life and finding your place within it. Don’t sacrifice your health and happiness because of a few bills or a long to-do list. Make the time to do something for yourself, and you will find it easier to remember the vivacious, sexy woman that you are.

efc3ecc0-3499-0133-3aa0-0a67ec7fcf67Find Your Zenith

Sometimes, your libido can take a hit because you have gotten out of tune with your body. If this is the case, masturbating can definitely help. Just be sure to start slow and allow things to build. This way, you are not worried about what your partner will think, you get to relax knowing if it’s not working, you can always stop. But odds are, it will feel pretty great, and you will be more energized from the experience. If you are still not feeling inspired, a new toy may be just the bit of excitement you need to kickstart things into high gear.

Just Go For It

tumblr_o2wgp1gasy1u5wre1o1_500Don’t always wait for the mood to strike. This could seem unimaginable if you suffer from low sex drive, sometimes by just going for it can inspire you to enjoy yourself. Having sex when you are not in the mood can trigger sexual arousal and be a boon to your intimate relationship. If you are not in a good moment for sex, try planning for a time in the future. Or, better yet, talk about why you are not in the mood. Physical intimacy starts with emotional intimacy and it will help you sort your feelings to better move past them and find your inner sex goddess.

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