Perhaps it’s the thrill of new exploits, or it’s at the top of your bucket list, or it’s an ancestor’s dying wish. Not matter the reason, you know you want your cake and to eat it too. You are after the most coveted of all sex acts—a threesome.

An act such as this involves an enormous deal of consideration, planning, and execution. So, before you let the genie out of the bottle—and by Genie, we mean whatever is hiding in your pants—let’s take a look at some of the ways you can turn the fantasy of a fun and exciting threesome into reality without the complicated nightmare that can come after.  

Threesome

Must Discuss

Taking a wild ride with your partner can seem like a good idea in theory, but consider if you want a third person to come between you and your partner. First, ask yourself how it would feel to watch someone else touch your partner’s body. Examine whether the sexual experience will spark feelings of jealousy, sadness or anger. And vice-versa; will your partner be able to handle seeing you touched? The more important question, however, is if this adventure jeopardizes your relationship. If your answers reveal a more unfavorable outcome than positive, you should probably put things on hold. Because once you take the genie out, it’s hard to get him back inside—and yes, we are still talking about what is in your pants.

Couples can afford to miscommunicate over which movie to watch or restaurant to eat at, but not when it comes to intimacy. One misstep and it’s lights out for the Genie. So, before eyeballing the third party, it’s imperative to talk with your partner first. Understanding their limits is important in getting your threesome off the ground. It should feel like a group effort where you both have fun creating a strategy. What does your partner find sexy? Has he or she ever fantasized about someone else? Take this and build a mutual fantasy that you two can share. It will make the whole thing sexy—from the hunt for a potential partner to the act itself. And if they back out at the last minute, please try to refrain from getting mad. There is no ‘I’ in ‘Threesome.’

ThreesomeCreatures of the Night

To enact a fantasy like a ménage à trois, you’ll need a Unicorn, who’s willing to share the bed with you. These mythical creatures appear to fulfill a couple’s erotic fantasy. Then poof! They disappear, never to be seen or heard from again—unless you are ready for round two. Ideally, your Unicorn will be bisexual (male or female) not seeking any romantic entanglements, and is available upon request. The important thing for couples is the Unicorn poses no threat to the relationship. Everyone has to get along with everyone else.

Your Unicorn is out there, but it may take patience finding him or her. Apps like Tinder, or the new 3nder can help as well as sites like FetLife. It may be someone you know already—someone you can trust with this particular event in your relationship. Wherever they are now, under the same sky as you, be patient to find them. You cannot rush these sorts of things. If you choose someone just because they are available and not because they are right, you may wind up regretting it.

So how do you take the Unicorn by the horn, so to speak? Just say the magic words. “Do you want to come home with my and my partner?” Granted, don’t blurt this out of the blue. But be direct, and let the Unicorn know you both are up for it. Often, it is best coming from a woman in the group, because everyone can trust she is on board with the idea. Build up your momentum with some group flirting, but be sure the Unicorn understands that everyone knows what’s up and is okay with it. You don’t want to give him or her the impression you are trying to cheat on your partner under their nose.

Ice Breakers

Threesome

For couples who have never experienced sex with a third party, it can feel awkward having someone arrive at your doorstep. (Ding-Ding! I’m here for the sex!) One of the best ways to ease into the fun starts the evening at a local pub or restaurant. Relax with a couple of glasses of wine and talk about non-sex related topics over a light dinner. The more you know about your Unicorn, the better the encounter later on. If you still feel uncertain after arriving home, keeping things outside the bedroom can help differentiate from what you and your partner do and what you choose to experience with a new person. Luckily, we have just the thing.

Take It to the Limit

A threesome can enhance your relationship. It is a joyful thing to acknowledge you trust your partner enough to let go of petty emotions like possessiveness. Being secure enough to bring another person into your bed is a big win for both of you. A way to ensure everyone reaps the benefits of pleasure is establishing ground rules. Not only with your partner but also the Unicorn. Some examples of this can be whether or not your partner feels good kissing, penetration, or any other sex act deemed too intimate for sharing.

When you discuss it, don’t skimp on the details. What positions do you want to try? What happens if your partner is paying more attention to the Unicorn than you? What happens when the fun is done, and you are lying there sweaty and exhausted? It is crucial to understand these things before you go in, although you can be sure there will be some surprises. But, because you have already opened up a dialogue, you should be able to handle them better and trust your partner even further.

Threesome

The Finale

Both of you have imagined this moment for weeks! You’ve been hunting and finally captured a Unicorn. But sometimes the reality of the dream is not what you expected. Being with a new person may feel a bit awkward at first, but sex becomes much better the more you know someone. There may be giggling and wiggling as you start to figure out how the Unicorn fits into the equation. You may even bump noses as you both try to go down on your partner at the same time. Someone may slip on the lube and slide naked across the floor into the wall. You just don’t know.

ThreesomeJust relax because things are about to get fun. But try not to take anything too seriously and go into it with as few expectations as possible. Just take the adventure as it comes and you will be a lot more satisfied.

So the party’s over, now what? Things can go from wild to weird after a threesome, especially when there was no aftercare discussed. Allow your Unicorn to make a quiet exit while you remain closely cuddle with your partner. Take the opportunity to let your partner know they are loved and lavish them with attention. You never know—they may be into having another one sooner than you think.

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