Let’s face it. Most women enjoy a man who’s not afraid to share his sensitive side. But chances are she’s fantasizing about his strong and virile side too. She may not say it out loud, but trust us, some women like it a little rough. And having a guy to dominate her in the bedroom serves as a great way to invigorate both of your sex lives.
But before we delve into the how to’s, let’s clarify what dominate means. While “rough” sex may have a bad rep, it is undeserved. What people refer to as rough sex is simply a masculine and dominant energy channeled at once. Sharing your dominant side is about tapping into your imagination and expressing how turned on you are with her. When it comes down to it, most women like the emotional spark dominance roleplaying can provide during sex.
Everyone has their own comfort level when it comes to exploring dominance and submission in the bedroom. Depending on what feels right to the both of you, we recommend starting out easy. This not only helps establish trust but it allows for communication about boundaries and limits. 90% of being a good dominant—is clear communication and giving her what she wants. Here, we’ve broken dominance into three categories. Follow these suggestions and you’ll be able to dominate her like Hugh Jackman as Wolverine!
Being dominant can feel intimidating at first, especially if your partner has never even had her hair pulled. That’s okay because there’s a first time for everything. Instead of going all Fifty Shades of Grey, here are some exciting moves you can do get the temperature rising.
- Push your partner against a wall or door and assert your power until she gives in to your demands. Try raising her arms over her head and keeping them pinned while you pleasure her with a sex toy.
- There’s no easier way to turn someone one than by talking dirty. Describe in detail what you plan on doing and that she is under your control. Have her respond with a simple yes, sir or no, sir will help build the sexual tension.
- Mess up her hair-do! Try gently pulling her hair during the height of passion. To make this feel stimulating to her, it’s best to gently grab a fist full of hair from the nape of the neck while you are taking her from behind.
- More than likely you’re stronger than your partner. This gives you a significant advantage when manhandling her physically. Wisk her off her feet, carry her into the bedroom and toss her on the bed. This panty melting maneuver demonstrates your brute strength and determination to give pleasure.
Here is where the anticipation really starts to build. If you are already comfortable with gentle domination, you can move into play requiring more physical interaction.
- Spanking is probably the first thing that pops into people’s minds when thinking about domination play. This titillating form of “punishment” is a great way to show off your dominant side. One of the best ways to incorporate spanking is bending her over your lap and gently warming her up with a few good open handed taps. Be sure to communicate and ask if she deserves more. As you become more proficient with spanking, heat with the Liberator Obéir Spanking Bench and a wooden paddle.
- Tiny nibbles go a long way in making your lover feel the shock of pain mixed with pleasure. This is a perfect technique to use at any stage of being dominant. Try using little nibbles at first and then gentle bites up and down her body while focusing on her most sensitive spots.
- Nothing says “you’re mine” like cuffing your partner to a stationary location like bed posts. We recommend using plush restraints with Velcro closures to begin. They come off easily if she starts feeling uncomfortable with the scenario. Up the ante, and blindfold your partner. Her lack of sight helps heighten the senses. You can increase her excitement with hot wax, body paint, warming lubes, and electro-stimulation.
- Edging her toward climax and then suddenly withholding is a great way to tease your partner into a frenzy. Let her know you are in control of her orgasm by bringing her to the height of climax over and over again. By repeatedly denying her an orgasm, it helps build tension while making her feel more sensitive to your touch. You can’t always get what you want!
Congratulations! Now it’s time to unleash your inner Wolverine and show her who’s boss. Please note this level of domination is never to be taken lightly as it is more extreme both mentally and physically. Before considering this type of play, we highly recommend researching the topic and coming up with effective safe words. It’s vital you both discuss the limits you are not willing to cross. If you’re not confident in pushing things this far, that’s okay too. There’s no rush!
- If you’re like most of the population, you probably recognize the following acronym—BDSM. This is short for bondage, discipline, and sadomasochism. For a lot of couples, BDSM is an exciting form of sexual expression and can include rope bondage, choking, anal penetration, humiliation, and degradation. For some, it’s more about the mind fuck than it is about the sex.
- Gagging or physically suppressing your lover’s speech can a turn-on, especially when done correctly. Ball gags or bits are a way to make your partner remain silent while you do whatever you want with her. Combine this with leather bondage gear and you will show her who’s in charge.
- Words like “dirty girl” will seem like child’s play when attempting to degrade or humiliate your partner. If she agrees to this form of play, you can make things feel more forceful with your words. Not only will it get her attention, but it just may turn her on in the process. However, if talking dirty is still not your thing, you can get her to call you master or sir while she’s placed in a vulnerable position. If she does not respond, remind her with a spanking.
There are plenty of ways to be dominant in the bedroom. Don’t be shy about getting creative. Explore and uncover the things that get her excited. But the most important part of showing her your dominant side is showing you’re invested in her pleasure.1