Okay ladies, if the thought of engaging in any type of anal antics makes your sphincter pucker up tighter than a photo finish, you’re not alone. For years, I refused to entertain the idea of having anything put in, or up, or around my “sheriffs badge” for fear that a future ex-partner would wind up referring to me as the “up-the-butt girl.” I’m up for virtually anything is the bedroom, but exploring the southern most tip of my body was a no-can-do!
Seriously though, the primary reason for not venturing south is because I believed there would be more pain than pleasure. Boy, was I wrong. For the past few months, I’ve been experimenting with anal pleasures—not anal sex, but play. At first, I could barely stand the anticipation and had a few false starts. But then I realized something. Anal play is way more effective and pleasurable when you’re really close to coming.
In fact, anal play is full of orgasmic potential. Yes, it’s true—orgasms can happen while playing with your bum-bum. Want know how achieve a greater height in physical pleasure? Well, keep reading.
Part of my reluctance to have anal sex is because I have a very low pain threshold and the not knowing of what to expect causes a very tense reaction. Now, I’ve had several close encounters while in the heat of the moment, but was quick to lock the door before being burgled. To overcome my lack of willingness, my current partner and I decided to talk about the lines in the sand. Surprisingly, he understood and assured me that anal play, when done right, is a heavenly experience. And that anal play is completely different from anal sex. So gentlemen, please take note, before hopping into the sack with your lady, take the time to woo her, finesse her, and more importantly, reassure her that the most dainty of dainties will be handled with grace.
My first anal play adventure did not involve anything other than a delicate massage around my anus. He used a very light warming lube and gently circled his fingers around and near the opening while performing oral. Getting close to climax, he increased the pressure without ever inserting any of his fingers. The sensation of the added stimulation felt like the flower was about to blossom. We continued this route a few more times before introducing any toys or implements.
Trust is essential when it comes to being introduced to new types of erotic play. I felt more comfortable with my lover, and therefore, felt open to taking it one step further with a toy. I did not want anything that resemble a penis, so we settled on the Fun Factory Flexi Felix Beads. Not only is this toy really cute, it also has a series of small, pearl-like beads that can be inserted one by one. Not to get gross, but when he inserted the first one, it felt like I had pinch out a number 2. But with one deep breath—it slipped right in and felt remarkably gentle and unobtrusive. He added an ample amount water-based Wet Uranus lube and viola! As time progressed, I felt more confident in him fitting the whole thing inside and can now use my toy as decoration.
Upping the Ante
I realize now that the rectum is packed with a bundle of nerves which makes anal play a unique experience. This is not a one-size-fits-all kind of situation and requires some forethought on which toys to choose. Once I got used to having something inserted, obviously, I wanted more for my rosebud. My personal favorite, the anal explorers kit. It includes three tapered anal probes that are slim lined to fit comfortably. The loop at the end allowed my partner to gently move in and out. We began with the smallest probe, and I eventually graduated to the larger one. Not bad for someone who once winced at watching anal porn.
After months of exploring my new territory, I felt relaxed enough go beyond the bedroom and try something on my own. Anal plugs, although they appear intimidating, can feel incredibly sensual, especially when sized correctly. For delicate ladies, it’s a good idea to, once again, start on the smaller end of the scale and gradually build in size. I kind of equate to an engagement ring—after a few anniversaries, a woman is certainly deserving of a bigger rock. My first anal plug was the Diogol Anni Heart. This elegant plug is embellished with a Swarovski crystal and looks beautifully appealing when the light hits it just right. Completely made from surgical aluminum, it’s designed for long-term wear. So imagine my lover’s surprise when he saw my sparkling backside during foreplay.
Climaxes come in a lot of different forms, and not all orgasms are the same. In fact, not all are equal. Experiencing an anal stimulated orgasm feels much different from a clitoral or g-spot orgasm. For me, experiencing an anal climax feels extremely momentous. The first time it happened, I was shocked by how exceptionally pleasurable it felt. It truly felt as if the earth of shaking beneath my body as wave upon wave of pure bliss enveloped my body.
Let me note that deriving pleasure from anal play does take some time, patience and the right kind of toy. In order for me to feel comfortable and just enjoy, I had to stop holding onto the shame associated with anus. We are taught that the anus is dirty, but in actuality it’s an extremely sensual part of the female anatomy. Once I decided to release my hang-up, the experience immediately shifted toward arousal. I am free to enjoy my entire body and embrace the fact that my anus is now open for business.5