Let’s look at a recent incident involving a driver and a jar of Vaseline before jumping into the best lubes for masturbation. Police in Enid, Oklahoma noticed a man driving erratically and decided that pulling him over was in the best interest of public safety. Thank goodness they did!
The Oklahoma Trooper approached the vehicle and discovered the driver wearing nothing more than a G-string. He was also slathered from head to toe in what appeared to be petroleum jelly. Sitting next to him—an empty economy-sized jar of Vaseline and a porno magazine. When asked, the driver nervously admitted to having his hands on something other than the wheel.
We all know the dangers of distracted driving—from texting to talking to diddling with your pocket monster. But did you also know that masturbating with petroleum-based products is just as dangerous? In fact, Vaseline, although readily available in small towns across Oklahoma, is probably the worst lube for any sexual contact.
So, in the interest of public safety and self-pleasure, we recommend keeping yourself well lubricated using our approved list of the best lubes for masturbation.
The driver in question should have picked up the discreet and travel-friendly überlube Good-To-Go-Vial before heading out on the highway. He sure would have enjoyed a sensation-filled masturbation session before getting busted. In all seriousness, though, überlube is one the best lubes for masturbation because of the silicone-based formula which helps reduce friction and chafing. Plus, it’s a personal moisturizer that loves the entire body.
Tampering with Evidence
Sensuva HandiPop would have come in handy for our handsy suspect. All he had to do was lick the evidence off his hands. Specially formulated for handjob aficionados, Sensuva Handi Pop Flavored Lube comes in several finger-licking flavors like strawberry, cotton candy, and green apple. It does not leave behind a sticky residue and cleans off easily with a simple wet wipe.
No Rags Needed
The mood can strike anyone at anytime. Maybe even when you’re driving! But the last thing you want is having to use a rag for wiping things off. That’s why we recommend the Southern Butter Intimate Body Butter. Part lube and part moisturizer, the sensual formula provides long-lasting glide while offering increased sensitivity. When all the fun is done, just rub it into the skin and it soaks right in.
Not Just for Men
No more double dipping into the Vaseline jar! Although packaged for men, the squeezable tube containing the Swiss Navy Masturbation Cream works just as well for the ladies. We think this cream is one the best lubes for masturbation because it warms instantly to the touch and has an amazing glide. One dot stays slick for hours making long road trips well worth the drive.
“How the hell am I going to explain this g-string?” the driver most-likely thought. One thing is for certain, the JO All-in-One Massage Glide would have provided him with a perfect alibi. Equal parts sensual massage gel and moisturizing lubricant, one of the best lubes for masturbation, it never leaves you looking or feeling greasy, oily or tacky.2