Sex Dreams: The Good, The Bad, and The Funny

The subconscious mind is an amazing thing.  In our dreams, our subconscious runs free, working out our daily problems, experiencing our desires, and exploring our fantasies.  But why is it that we have sex dreams about people that we would not ordinarily be attracted to in real life?  Or we do something in our dreams that is out of our comfort zone?

I am one of those rare lucky birds that remembers my dreams vividly about 90% of the time.  Upon first waking, my dream still feels very real; I have to remind myself that I am in the real world, and that what I just experienced was just a dream.  Sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing my past dreams from things that happened in my real past, as I must store those memories similarly to my other memories.

I still remember a “nightmare” I had when I was a child of about 5 or 6.  I was sipping on a really delicious chocolate milkshake while riding down in an elevator with my grandmother.  After we got off and out into the parking lot, I realized that I left my milkshake in the elevator.  I was so upset, but my grandmother wouldn’t let me go back to get it.  And this never happened to me in real life!

I have had a lot of weird sex dreams, and I still remember most of them.  I’ve had sex dreams about really unattractive actors, the unfortunate looking geek from school (not hating on geeks, as I myself am a nerd), about friends and their significant others.  Under normal circumstances, I would never even think about bedding any of these people, but in my dreams I sure seemed to be enjoying myself!  I’ve also had dreams about having sex with multiple partners (whether or not this has happened in my real life, I dare not say), and even group sex.  Is it possible that my subconscious is curious about these things?  Maybe.  Will I act on them?  Probably not.

Sometimes, my sex dreams are really hot.  So hot, in fact, that once I wake up I have to take care of myself.  Or, I’ll think about them all day long.  I’ll remember the sensations and how it me feel emotionally, as if it was a real experience.  I’ll then store these dreams as fantasies to recall upon another time, as those images have been burned into my brain as if I saw them with my eyes.

I don’t always dream in first-person.  Actually, come to think of it, I often dream in third-person, as if I am watching myself experience these things.  Dream Porno!  Now that’s a concept!  Patent Pending, Cassandra 2011!  I am in no way narcissistic, but I think seeing these things happen to myself is more of a turn on.  So maybe that is why my subconscious manifests itself in that way.

Last night, I think for the first time ever, I had a funny sex dream.  Literally, it was sexy and funny.  It was with this man from my past, who always had an amazing sex of humor.  There was also always an attraction between us, but we never acted on it.  The dream started out pretty normally.  He and I were just hanging out, and I was showing him something on the computer.  He was sitting at the desk, and I was sitting on the floor beside him.  Then he asked me to show him where something was on the screen.  Suddenly, in the dream, I was dripping wet and wrapped in a towel.  “Okay, but I’m naked.  I just got out of the shower.”  He turned and looked at me, suddenly realizing that yes, I was in fact naked, staring at the nude bits of skin peeking out from the loosely wrapped towel.  At that point, I sensed if I was ever going to make a move on this man, it was now or never.  I stood up, removed my towel, and showed my breasts into his face.  It was more comical than sexy, but he enjoyed being smothered.

Flash forward to later in the dream (not because I’m skipping but because that is how I remember it), I am standing while he is crouched on the floor giving me oral.  I am flooding while he is drooling, and a ton of liquid is pouring out on the floor.  I am watching this happen in third-person, seeing myself from behind and seeing his face, and I am laughing at how funny it looks.  It’s like a gag a circus clown would do.  A sexy circus clown.

I woke up shortly after this dream, and I found myself very amused and slightly turned on by my funny sex dream.  I got to wondering, is there silly porn out there?  I love the parody porns, but slapstick porn?  Maybe not.  I guess I’ll just have to wait until my next sex dream…