The Sensuality of the Word – Explicit Sex Talk

“Sally, he sex-talk-fucked a supermodel into cumming without touching her, in his kitchen. If anything he’s up for an award.”- from the film Fall

When I was in college I saw a movie that really got me to notice just how sexy words can be, especially when they are said in just the right way. I decided to find out if words could bring someone to orgasm. The movie is Threesome, which stars Stephen Baldwin, Josh Charles, and Laura Flynn Boyle. The scene takes place in a library; Laura Flynn Boyle sees Josh Charles reading, she gets up on the table and crawls towards him. She gets him to read to her, she loves big words and as luck would have it, he is reading a book with, of course, big words. She gets very turned on as he reads, and she displays her pleasure by writhing around on the table. Now, with my being a bit of a bookworm, I found myself aroused by the idea of big, sensual words, and wanting to play out this scene!

So fast forward a few years. I have a lover who is really into using explicit talk. He shows me a film (Fall) and I see another scene which confirms my turn-on for words. Imagine this: a wild chemistry between a cab driver and a supermodel leads to his having her pressed up against a refrigerator and using not much more than words to turn her on. She gets so hot that she comes. I was ready to try it.

First I had to set the stage and create a safe place for me to feel comfortable exploring this. It is not always easy to just jump into something new when it comes to sexual play, so it is important that you learn how to set parameters that are going to create “turn on’s” rather than “turn off’s”. In my particular situation I didn’t want anything degrading, I didn’t want to be called names, and I preferred descriptions of what might be done to me. I also felt safe with fantasy talk. So number one, you must create your boundaries. Ask yourself what will turn you on most. Do you like being called “Slut” or “Whore”? Would you rather hear descriptions of what she is going to do to you- “I’m going to stick your big cock in my mouth”? Do you want sweet nothings whispered in your ear: “I will love you until tears fall from your eyes”?

Also, it is important to agree upon who will be doing explicit talk. Will you banter back and forth? Will one of you just listen while the other penetrates with language? If you are a giver it is important to keep within the parameters set by your partner.

As foreplay, you will enjoy making a list of words with your partner that particularly get the heat rising. Try a list of arousing words (lover, sexy, fuck), or provocative words (whore, pussy, cock), hypnotic words (magic, imagine, now) or words that paint particular images (red hot, eternity, spicy). Here is an example of what one lover said to me that melted my heart and made my nether regions gush. When we finished making love I made him write what he remembered down for me:

There is an eternity of you to devour,
I shall savor the tastes of your infinite spice,
As I take each bite slowly turning it in the moist cave of my senses,
There shall I discover I know you and I can never know all of you,
There in the folds of your flavors shall I come to know the depths of wonder,
That is you.

You can also begin explicit talk before you are even in each other’s presence. Texting can be a very effective form of arousal. All you need is a phone with text capability and a little creativity, and you are off to a modern form of sexual play. Once when I was a traveling I shared some sex messaging [Ed. note: Otherwise known as “sexting”.] that made me so hot I couldn’t wait to get back to my lover. He told me all the things he would do to me when I returned, and I was dripping with anticipation. When I was in his physical presence I had one of those movie experiences, where the words combined with anticipation had me in orgasmic bliss in an instant.

So in the end my research paid off. And I’m forever grateful for those first few introductions into the world of “sex talk”.

[Ed. note: For more of Jaiya’s advice, check out Sex With Jaiya: Erotic Bedroom Arts and Sex With Jaiya: Pleasuring the Pregnant Woman.]

Jaiya is a Certified Sex Educator, Sexological Bodyworker and Tantric Sex Teacher. She is the co-author of Red Hot Touch: A Head-To-Toe Handbook for Mind Blowing Orgasms and the producer, writer, narrator and star of the DVD series by the same title.