I admit it. I love to touch myself down there and everywhere else too! It started a very long time ago, like early adolescence. Perhaps this may be a bit taboo, but I’ve enjoyed every moment of pleasure derived from touching my own personal goods. While I’m at it, here’s another confession—self-pleasuring has resulted in one of the greatest journeys toward my own self-awareness. Yes, it’s true, masturbation has led me to experience an enhanced state of well-being, and I’m here to tell you all about it.
Personally, I find the word “masturbation” a tad out-dated. Not the act itself, but the root of the word, which basically means “to pollute oneself.” How can one possibly pollute oneself with pleasure? Without getting off topic here, it probably has a lot to do with religion or nuns slapping people’s knuckles with rulers. Really, if we weren’t meant to touch your own stuff, then why did the creator of these bodies make it feel so damned good. So instead of using the word masturbate, I prefer the alternative “self-pleasure.”
Now some of you may not even have a problem with rubbing one out, but there are some people who cringe even just thinking it. Why the guilt and shame? Either way, it’s time to reevaluate self-pleasure and look at it from a whole new perspective and learn to enjoy it.
Here are some ways that you can enjoy the art of self-pleasure.
Make Love to Yourself
Time to disconnect from the electronics and dial into yourself. Set aside time to give yourself a sensual massage and connect with your entire body. Simply close your eyes and feel with your fingertips. Notice how the skin ripples beneath your touch. And who knows, you may just find erogenous zones in the strangest of areas. To enhance the experience, try a lightly scented body butter such as Good Clean Love Body Candy. The subtle fragrance and light texture can make you feel more relaxed.
In and Out
Breathing is essential to life—without it, we would not exist. However, we rarely pay attention to our breath, especially during sex. Breathing in deep with awareness can actually intensify orgasms. So, the next time you are self-pleasuring, take a few deep breaths to calm the body and mind. While breathing consciously, take a moment and do a mental scan of your body. Notice any areas that may be holding onto tension like your jaw, hands, feet and even your ass. With every breath, let go and release the stress. Also, take some time to pay attention to your thoughts. Are you present within yourself or drifting off to the grocery store or work? Although this technique will take some time to get used to, once you learn to stay present, the sensations in your body will lead your body, mind, and soul toward a heightened state of arousal.
When it comes to loving thyself, a change in routine and habits is always beneficial. For instance, if you always use one hand to flick the bean or choke the chicken, change things up and use your less dominant hand. If you always stroke or rub the same way, try going the opposite direction. Take your time and don’t rush the experience.
As you become more aroused mix things up a bit. For instance, if you always use your hands, try a sex toy that offers a variety of stimulating options. I personally enjoy the LELO Mona Wave—it’s great for both clitoral and G-spot pleasure. For those that rely on battery-operated helpers, flip the switch and just use a dildo. Make using a dildo more exciting with the Liberator BonBon.
We’ve all heard the proverb, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Intentions, when mixed with self-pleasure, can be a powerful thing. Even before the touching begins, take a minute to think about what you want to achieve—other than the obvious. Perhaps you want to love yourself more, get in touch with your sexuality, appreciate your body, or simply enjoy life. Whichever the case, setting your intent can ultimately pave the way to feeling better about yourself.
For a lot of women (and men too) journaling is a valuable resource toward self-awareness. However, the key to clarity is not to censor yourself. Taking notes on your thoughts can actually help solve nagging issues and relieve stress. Write down anything about what you noticed or discovered about your body. You may find, that on occasion, certain thoughts or ideas streaming through you mind while being aroused. Plus, maintaining a personal diary can be a great tool in helping anyone overcome guilt or shame surrounding sexual pleasure.
Other than achieving great orgasms, there are other benefits of practicing self-pleasure. You’ll begin to notice elevated [happier] moods or an enhanced sense of well-being. Some people claim that they feel and look younger, while others have more positive energy. In fact, the more you make a practice out of self-pleasure, the more it will boost your libido and desire for great sex.
The whole point to all of this is that as through self-pleasure, you’ll become more aware of your body while love for yourself blossoms. So whatever you may call it—masturbation, saucing the taco, or blowing your own horn—simply love thyself proper!5