We hear it all the time…. My boyfriend wants to do anal, but just the thought of that thing in there has me freaked. What do I do?

Not to worry! We’ve got the art of anal down to a science. Most people feel at little squeamish at first, but really like it once they get the 3 basics: lube, relaxation, and anatomy.

First, about lubes.

Unlike a vagina, a rear entry needs to be primed. Take your choice of oil, water or silicone based products. Personally, I prefer the silicone for the natural feel and easy clean-up, but experiment and enjoy. Use it liberally and apply to both players.

untitled-1Next is relaxation.

Two circular muscles comprise the anal sphincter. Unlike almost all other muscles, this one stays contracted in the resting state—a good thing too! In order to keep these two sphincters pliable, relaxation is key. We all learn to do this when we get a sensation of “fullness,” from the inside. In order to learn to relax when empty, you need to “bear down” a little. You can practice with a (lubed) finger (his or yours or both together), a dildo or a butt plug. You might even want to try several butt plugs of increasing girth. They can be used discreetly anytime and anywhere. (You might be surprised to know that the guy in the cube two down from yours has one in right now!)

wedge6r2And finally, anatomy.

You can’t hit the target if you don’t aim. The proper angle of entry should be aimed at your belly button. A great way to get this angle properly is through one of our Wedges. Plus it lifts you up for access, so there will be less chance of him thrusting oddly and accidentally injuring you. The most popular position is doggy, but try it with both of you laying on your side, or even missionary with him standing off the side of the bed. There are more positions than you may expect, so try a few to find the one that puts you at ease and open to pleasure.

With time and patience, you will discover that anal is not only pleasurable and tingly sensation, it is a great bond with your partner. And remember, it’s a journey—not a race. Bon appétit!

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